I am slowly moving in here, to my new digital home. No one knows about this place yet but me. I’m still mulling how and when to publicize this spot and shutter the old one, which I won’t link for fear of trackbacks. I need a clean break.
I had 21 years at the old blog, but I’ve had such a psychological block against posting there for so long that this feels necessary at this point.
The last time I published something there, I got a text message from my sister a few hours later telling me how happy she would be to burn my belongings once our parents were dead. The post that had angered her was a post examining and rebuking my white supremacist upbringing. I’m the black sheep of our family because I no longer tolerate their casual cruelty and nastiness. She used a different, new phone — I have had her blocked for years — to break through to tell me how much she hated me.
So I figure a new home is best. I want to get back to writing and documenting life and hobbies and stories. I have let so many things go unsaid and unrecorded for several years. And now that we are living in an actual, for-real surge of authoritarianism in the U.S., I think it’s more important than ever that I have a space to share and process what’s happening in my life, my family, and the world around me.
I’m still not sure what I want this place to be, but this is a start. I feel like I can breathe here without the fear of being watched.